20 wks, ready or not, here it comes.

So here we are safely in 2011 and still pregnant. My first ever January being pregnant. I'm still very very wary of what this month and year has in store for us. Basically, I'm not going to believe I might possibly still be pregnant in February until I'm here writing, "well, it's February and I'm still pregnant". It's just too hard to believe until I see it.  (Picture taken Monday which was 20 wks exactly.)

The good: So far, almost everything seems to be okay, normal, even good. I feel Lucas moving every day, some days more than others. (Yesterday and today he's been pretty crazy in there. But he's also a little stinker, every time I put my hand on my belly to see if I can feel him from the outside, he stops moving! I've been convinced he was moving/kicking strong enough for Joe to feel a few times now but by the time I put Joe's hand on the right spot, he stops. Hopefully we'll catch him soon.) 

Mediocre news: my blood pressure has been normal, albeit a little "high for me" more often than not.(My normals are 110-120/70-80, but lately my bottom number has been in the low 80's and high 70's more often than not.) I had an incident with my heart racing yesterday (when I took my blood pressure because of it, it was high- 133/97, and my pulse was 124, and I had just been laying on the couch watching Ellen on tv, not exactly running around or anything.) I didn't call in because it was the end of the day, it stopped, and my blood pressure a few minutes later was normal. I think I may just hold off on calling until I see the high risk doctor on Monday, unless it happens again in the meantime. (My blood pressure and pulse has since been normal.)

The bad is that I can't decide if my fingers are just fat or if they are starting to look puffy. It's too bad I didn't analyze them more before I was pregnant. (My wedding ring hasn't fit since I was pregnant with Olivia.)  They aren't big to an alarming extent, but I'll bring it up to my high risk doctor when I see her on Monday and it will probably earn me a 24 hour urine test.

When I was in the hospital with Olivia, before we knew what was wrong, we were asked countless times if we noticed any swelling in my hands, feet, or face. And I said no and looked at Joe and he agreed with me. But now that I look at the pictures from that time, and even the week before I was diagnosed, I was SO SWOLLEN, my face and my hands at least.

The other thing is heartburn. I never have it when I'm not pregnant, but I had it really bad the 2 weeks before I was hospitalized with Olivia. Well, I started getting it again, every night pretty much, starting last week or so. I know it's normal especially in pregnancy, and it's not that bad yet-it's usually just a little annoying but I don't actually have to take anything, but still, between my fat/swollen fingers, heartburn, and my history, it makes me a little anxious that we're heading towards impending doom in another week or two or three.  So, it's all just kind of screwing with my mind, and I'm good at messing with my own mind even without these possibly fishy symptoms. 

But I'm also trying to come to a relative peace that this is totally out of everyone's hands at this point. (I've probably said this before.) Basically, whatever happens in the next few weeks, there's not much if anything I or any doctor can do to fix. Either we'll make it or we won't, but worrying about getting sick won't keep me from getting sick. So I just have to suck it up and tough this month out and see where we are in February. Easier said than done.