Better

Thanks for all of the kind comments and thoughts, first of all. We really appreciate them.

So far, physically everything is still good as far as we know. It might be in my head but I feel like Lucas is kicking harder already. He's been a little quieter so far today but yesterday he was busy busy. I've noticed that's how it goes, a busy day followed by a quieter day and then a busy day again. Last night I was on Facebook and I swear he kicked me so hard I was startled by it and jumped. Freaky and awesome. I love being pregnant, most of the time.

Mentally, I'm feeling better for now. It helps hearing a few others that had notching after a history of severe pre-eclampsia and made it 30+ weeks. Still, we're kind of anticipating/hoping/mentally preparing for just a 28 weeker at this point. I figure that with Olivia, it was about 4 weeks after she first started falling behind that the HELLP really set in, so hopefully that means we still have at least 6 weeks considering Lucas has so far been ahead. But, a lot depends on how his growth is in a few weeks, and apparently it's not totally unrealistic to think that the notching might actually get better or go away. In any case, I'm not quite as panicked about it as I was Monday, but I don't think I'll sleep very well the night before the next growth ultrasound. (Luckily I scheduled it for 8:30 am so we can just get it over with and I can come home and sleep or freak out. ) I find myself getting superstitious, too. With Olivia, every time I got really bad news, like the bad quad screen results, and then when her growth was way behind, and then even in the hospital when everything was seemingly normal, I talked Joe into going home and letting the dogs out and getting food-since they were trying to starve me to death and there was no way he could eat in front of me, and I had convinced my parents everything was fine too...every time, even the half hour I was alone in the hospital, bad news. I'm a little relieved that Joe can go to all of my ultrasounds this time, and really lucky. (His off days are Friday and Saturday so I normally schedule them for Fridays, but I can't wait that entire week for the next growth scan, so I scheduled it for Tuesday and he's arranged to work a different shift that day so he can be there.) If only it was that easy to keep the bad news away.