Monday, November 14, 2011

Oh blog.

I'm still in this weird phase where I start writing a post, then quit.

All is pretty well here. We survived Pennsylvania. Luke tolerated the 22 hours of driving like the perfect baby he is- didn't cry once. That's about all I have to say about that here in blogland.

And as for Lucas, oh my. He makes me so happy and oh so sad all at once. I can't believe how fast babyhood is dwindling and toddlerhood emerging. He's mobile, not quite crawling but rolling and pulling himself enough to get wherever he wants. He loves plastic bags and paper and gets ANGRY if they are taken from him. He babbles all the time and Joe swears he intentionally says "ma" or "mom"  when he gets whiny but I'm pretty sure it's just coincidental, though it really does sound like mom. His days of sleeping in our room are numbered, not that he'll even notice the difference anyway, but oh, that part especially makes me so sad. I may end up sleeping on the floor in his room for the next 18 years or so. Okay, maybe not. But I can't say exactly in words how much I love opening my eyes and seeing him sleeping there a foot away from me. I remember telling my friend Jackie at 10 weeks or so how it was such a perfect age. But honestly, every age is the perfect age. (Although he has started doing this weird gaspy laugh that almost gave me a heart attack driving 5 minutes to my mom's house yesterday because hearing your 6 month old gasping over and over from his carseat when you can't see his face and you are already paranoid makes for a nervewrecking drive. I could tell that he was okay because he had some babbles and normal giggles in there between the raspy gasps but I hope he stops doing that soon because he's going to give me an ulcer with that.) Sleeping through the night is inconsistent but I can't say I mind much. The nights he wakes up, we end up cuddling in the recliner together until we both fall asleep which generally takes 10 minutes or less, no big deal.Works for us.

The approaching holidays this year are weird. The past two years, the holidays were so hard and miserable that we mostly just wanted to ignore them. But now we have Lucas. And I think the holidays will still be hard to some extent, but now we have to suck it up and make the best of them for him. I am sure he will have a blast with the wrapping paper and new toys. But it's complicated.


Brooke said...

I know it will have to be complicated, but I hope it's also a happy Christmas for you this year. You deserve that. And so does Lucas, of course.

Kimberly said...

I still love the middle-of-the-night wake-ups because of the cuddling too. I hope we still have years left of my baby wanting me to snuggle him when he wakes up in the middle of the night.

Sounds like Lucas is doing GREAT!

SG said...

I read posts like this and feel so hopeful that time can bring happy things again. Lucas sounds like such a little sweetie! said...

I feel like SG. Reading your posts bring me hope for happiness in my future. I know your feelings must be mixed and things are complicated, because of course you still miss Olivia, but I hope you can make the most of the holidays. Later you will look back with fondness at his first Christmas.

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