So, this is it!

I was pretty anxious about the amnio today. Not because of the risks really. And not because of the needle in my belly thing. (After 300+ lovenox injections, I'm kinda over that.) But because this kid has kept us on our toes this whole pregnancy, I kinda figured he'd be in the 5% not ready yet. (My OB assured me yesterday that there was a 95% chance he'd be ready.)

He really was! It wasn't too horrible. I was a little nervous when they told me not to close my eyes, not to hold my breath, not to tense up. (And they had me put my hands behind my head so I wasn't even holding Joe's hand.) I kept my eye on the ultrasound monitor to see what the baby was doing and how far they were from him. I was a little nervous on the way there because without really thinking about it I drank a Diet Dr.Pepper, and he was pretty awake and active as we were driving and waiting in the waiting room. Luckily, when we were in there he settled down and when the needle was in he stayed far away from it. It didn't hurt anymore than lovenox, the only sucky part was that I didn't realize they'd keep the needle in for a full entire minute or so, to get enough fluid. I also didn't realize they took an entire vial full of fluid, for some reason I thought they just took a tiny bit. I had to remind myself to keep breathing. I actually ended up with my third choice doctor doing it, but he was actually nice and funny. He counted down while the needle was in, "1/3 done, 1/2 done...." And then it was over. They sent me to be monitored and OF COURSE our little trickster decided it was naptime so they weren't really concerned about him but he wasn't really active enough so we ended up staying on the monitor for quite awhile. But I said to Joe, "I don't care if they keep us here all day as long as I can hear his heart beating and know he's okay." He perked up after awhile and was nice and active with a good test strip, so they let us go.

They told us that they either do one or two tests with the fluid. The first test only takes about an hour to come back, but it's pretty picky and a lot of times will say lungs are immature when they really are mature. So if that test came back mature, they wouldn't bother with the second one and we could proceed with plans for delivery tomorrow. If that test came back immature, they'd do the second test, which takes about 4 hours. The nurse told me she'd call me after the 1 hour test results were back so we knew the status either way. If his lungs were mature, we had to go back to the hospital to do all of the pre-op paperwork, bloodwork, and talk to the anesthesiologist. If not, wait 4 hours and then maybe go to the hospital.

The cemetery where Olivia is buried is only about 15 minutes from the hospital but 45 or so minutes from our house, so we had already planned to go there today and this worked out perfectly as something to do while we waited for the first results. Coincidentally, while we were driving to the cemetery, the newish song "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" came on (I'm not sure how new it is but a couple of days ago was the first time I heard it. Today was the first time Joe heard it, too.)  Last night we went to dinner at Applebees, and there was a toddler little girl in the booth across from us, sitting behind their booth was a couple with a 2 month old. The toddler girl was infatuated with the baby and new mom was really nice, even letting this random toddler touch her baby's head. Anyway, it was really cute, but also very bittersweet, I kept thinking that we should have a toddler infatuated with her little brother very soon. So when we were at Olivia's grave, I was standing there thinking how excited she would be to meet her baby. And then seemingly out of nowhere, a butterfly fluttered right in front of her grave so we couldn't miss it. We go to the cemetery at least monthly. We've seen lots of deer and squirrels and stuff like that, but I've never seen a butterfly there. Some of my baby loss mom friends are big believers that when they see a butterfly, it's a sign from their baby that they are okay and with them in spirit, sort of thing. I've never really thought much about it either way. But the timing of that butterfly, right at that moment when I was thinking how excited Olivia should be about her baby brother, there it was. And it was only a few minutes after that that the nurse called to tell us that his lungs are mature and his birthday is tomorrow. That definitely made today even better and just gave me a bit of bittersweet peace.

I'm surprised I haven't freaked out all day about Luke moving or not moving. But he's been pretty fantastic, moving rather steadily every once in awhile so I'm reassured that all is well in there even though they took a big chunk of his fluid. He's been a little quieter (still okay, just not quite as constantly active as usual) the last couple of days so I'm very much appreciating him moving steadily. Yesterday, I started noticing my feet were getting swollen and today they are like 3x the normal size. Even the nurse got a little wide eyed, seeing it. Since we're delivering tomorrow and my blood pressure has been okay (up a little but not really high) and I'm not in pain or anything, it should be okay for now, but I think it's a good thing we're delivering tomorrow besides my mental health. My fingers are crossed that I'm not headed toward postpartum pre-eclampsia.

We finally finished up Luke's room (well, mostly, we haven't put together *everything* since we know he won't be in the jumper or exersaucer for awhile. And we haven't set up the monitors and a few things like that which we won't use immediately yet, either.) But it's 90% done.

 

Anyway, this time tomorrow, he'll be here!

34 weeks, nursery in progress pictures

The plan is to pretty much finish decorating the nursery tonight. I still have to wash baby clothes and move all of the baby stuff into the room, but that probably won't happen until next week, we still have a lot to finish up buying and I'm more focused on that than actually organizing the baby room yet (because if I try and then start thinking of the things that I still need to get, it will make me crazy.)

Anyway, this is Monday, @ 34 weeks, I had thought that he had dropped because when he was having hiccups he was so low, but I think he undropped or never dropped at all because I've felt hiccups around my belly button just this morning:

 

And here is Joe battling with the pain in the butt to put up tree (but we are SO GLAD we decided not to paint it). 

And then he finished the tree (sans leaves) and put up the monkey and tiger:

And I started putting up the leaves, except for the ones I couldn't reach.It was thankfully much easier to do than the actual tree.  Joe finished up the leaves at the top last night. We still have a bunch left that we are still deciding what to do with.

 

And then we added Ellie the Elephant next to the tiger (I think we're calling him Timo, I said Joe could name him but I forgot the name.) The crib won't really go there in front of them, Joe pushed it out of the way while we were discussing how we are going to hang the letters.

And here's better pictures of the letters:

   

 

And this is ultimately what the "mural wall" will look like, although we still have to hang the giraffe and the crib will be under the tree and the monkey against the wall, like it is in the first couple of pictures. (The letters will go above it.)

And then on the wall opposite of the crib, above the window, we added the quote "Angels danced the day you were born". I love the animals and everything, but that's one of my favorite parts of the room, our little touch of Olivia in there. It took MANY pictures and experiments for me to finally get the word "angels" pictured (it shows up great in person, but against the light color and with my camera, it was hard to get it to show up.)

 

So tonight, Joe gets to put up the giraffe (I think we're giving her a few leaves) and hang the letters above the crib, and then the walls at least will be done. (We decided not to do a valance for the window, #1 because I couldn't find one that I liked really, #2 because then we'd have to buy a curtain rod too, and I think with everything else, keeping the window simple is a good idea.) 

I can't believe it's already Thursday and next week will hopefully be our last full week of this pregnancy. (More on that later.)

"Reassuring for gestational age" and BPP pass!

I still brace myself for bad news for almost every appointment. It was especially bad in the first trimester. After everything went so horribly wrong with Olivia, I had no expectation that it would go right this time and I didn't dare get my hopes up. I think I googled the miscarriage stats by week like every day. It was insane. I don't know how Joe put up with me. Every ultrasound, I held my breath until it was clear the baby was still alive. Even now, when they are looking for a heartbeat, I tense a little, even if I just felt him kick me moments before.

When I sat down in the comfy recliner for our NST today, I pretty much told her that the baby was probably not going to do very well. Even though I'd just drank a soda about a half hour before, he wasn't very active. It wasn't "I'm worried he's not active" because I'd still feel him moving every once in awhile, it was just he wasn't doing 10 movements in 5 minutes like he'd been doing earlier at 6 am. Much to my surprise, he did pretty well, after a slow first 5-10 minutes or so, he perked up. Best of all, there were no dips/drops/variables or whatever you want to call them. He had several 10 beat per minute lasting 10 second accelerations (which is the 28 weeker standard), and once a 15 beat per minute acceleration but I don't think it lasted long enough or whatever, for her to give him a "reactive" test since they have to go by the 15 x 15 standard. (She said it's like giving a 3rd grader a 5th grader test.) Instead of calling it nonreactive, she labeled it "reassuring for gestational age. "

Luke was especially good for the biophysical profile today. He got the movement and tone points quickly, my fluid levels are good, and then he even practiced breathing for longer than 30 seconds. I asked her if practicing breathing has anything to do with lung maturity, apparently it doesn't, it's just one of those things they start figuring out how to do around this time, but they don't actually *have* to breathe to be okay whilst in utero, they can be lazy and let their moms breathe for them. And it doesn't really have any influence on lung maturity.

Joe put Luke's dresser and crib together today which freaks me out and makes me excited at the same time. The dresser turned out much, much, better than I expected. We got a really good deal on a regular dresser at Big Lots, I just happened to see an ad one day and we got lucky with it, it was their last one left. I worried that it might be a little too short to use as a changing table but it turned out it's the perfect height and it matches the crib better than I expected too. So now we need to settle on wall decals (we're going to do a giant mural with them) and accessories and a mattress. (I'm picky about mattresses but am not too crazy about the prices for organic ones so I'm still deciding on a decent compromise.) But anyway, the room is coming along pretty nicely and I'll have pictures soon.